#50 Zorznijor Tattoo on My Tongue



My Patreon is in full swing! It’s been up for about 2 months now, with roughly 11 hours of bonus content, not including pre-release audio, or the audio archive I’m working on for Nora and the Janitors.

I’m going back in time, trying to release every recording I’ve made. Right now you can hear Universe of the Mind, and a few pieces of audio from 2005. I’m slowly releasing these recordings, mostly chronologically,  once they’re ready — and they may get updated in the future, after being released, especially in terms of album art and stuff.

Why Not Fest live audio from this year is coming soon. It’s gonna sound terrible tho.

I engineered a recording session for Zorznijor this August! Zorz is Seattle musician Johnny Unicorn’s high-volume recording project. Johnny is a miracle and Zorznijor is one of my favorite bands, which is why I got ZORZNIJOR tattooed on my tongue at Why Not Fest.

I love getting to spend a whole day with a band & their squad, and everyone was wonderful: Johnny, Naomi, Max, Ian, Jeff, Dan, Emily. Heck yeah. 👍👍

There’s a wonderful episode of the Johnny Unicorn Show that features Dan, then Jeff and Naomi join the convo.

Jeff Tapia fronts the band Rat Queen. Daniel Timothy Desrosiers is His Many Colored Fruit. DTD also destroys himself in a YouTube series called Dan and Dietrich Play Would You Rather.

Hey by the way I started taking estrogen finally!

The following is a wild transcript auto-generated by a computer:

hiyee welcome to Prairie goth i'm nora a janitor hey it's episode 50 that's pretty cool right okay yeah today I'm gonna spend a while since I've done this yeah I'm gonna try and keep this short which means I'm already doing a bad job okay so I'm just gonna talk about I was gonna kind of give an update of what kind of there's I holy crap August was kind of cool that's that's my story there are a few things that happened that we're pretty pretty neat I think and were they were they need yeah they were need they were they're great and I am NOT in a I'm not in a positive mood who cares this is the podcast that no one listens to you from North Dakota okay I guess first I'll just say that the why don't why do I even talk about this there's a I have a patreon and it's in full swing and it's been up for about at two months it's patreon.com slash trash party that's all and there's about 11 hours of bonus content over there and a lot of it's ridiculous and so you want to hear that right okay 11 hours of bonus content not including pre-release audio stuff like maybe I'll talk about that a little bit but got holy crap forgot why it's soared about how it's I forgot about how it's it is so hard to do this what am i doing right now oh my god I'm gonna start a timer I'm starting a timer because I want this to be over sorry this is a fun listen for no one no one is having fun listening to this okay yeah I'm trying to finish up a whole bunch of things and I'm doing a bunch of like pre-release audio of stuff that's gonna not come out for like a bunch of months away yeah okay anyway and also I'm doing this audio archive thing where I yeah I'm going go back in time and I'm finding everything every recording that I've ever made and basically releasing all of them and it's mostly gonna be like housed on the the northern janitors band camp and a lot of it I'll also go on this patreon feed including now check this out this is the first thing that I ever made basically and I think I I think there's some recordings of me like singing there are debt there I know there are like a handful of record ian's of I didn't think I did a Christmas EP when I was like seven and then also was in some radio commercial and like I could I googled my my real name once someone I don't know I found this found this but I I think I sang on some other stuff that I have absolutely no recollection of okay but this is the first thing like as far as I can remember that was the first like sort of piece of music that I put together and it but it was all cut out of like pre-made like loops and stuff so it's not really composing as much as it is like arranging like a thing I was using this this da called acid so I'm like 10 use an acid and making techno and is it's it's like it's slightly lit the the panning is awful like early stereo Beatles albums it's hell and yeah and but so check out the name of this it's like a full it's like a full length of like loop pre-made like loop techno and it's it's oh my god it's at the same it's like it's both like mortifying and like fuck yeah you know alright you know it was called it was called universe of the mind that's all you need to know about that I'm also doing the like sort of I'm organizing all of all of these other recordings mostly but some of them were like things that I had like an idea of like releasing and like some of them will be like quasi albums mixtapes they're mixtapes they're whatever they're it doesn't matter I don't care nothing's real albums aren't real music isn't real it's just recorded information that you perceive as being something that's meaningful but objectively it's not it's just information that's being you know kind of like how language is meaningless we're all Holograms but yeah I'm high why does my brain do this I everything is in like a like gonna be holy crap see why why why ah someday someday someday things will be better so everything's kind of gonna be in like a year month thing like for example 2005 - oh eight would be like August 2005 and it would be anything that I made in that time period and I'm gonna just like so we released them chronologically pretty much as they're done some might get updated like if I find like a better a higher quality file or like there's like a lot of placeholder albemarle anyways blah blah that's the thing that I'm doing that you can see um the band camp or on the patreon I don't great okay and then also yeah I played why not fast surprisingly so right I was surprisingly I didn't die and not I a lot of emotional baggage about performing live right now I'm when I was up until like the last minute I didn't know if I was gonna be able to actually do it okay but I did and I made like a really really probably I haven't listened to it yet it's probably sprite sounds terrible but there's gonna be a recording of that on the band count it's not gonna be any fun to listen to but it will exist and it will be there yeah patreon.com slash trash party cuz that's what my life is it's a trash party okay here's the best thing I think this is it's tied for the best thing at least so really good this is awesome thing that happened this month and I I never really talked about recording sessions I do because it's I try to you know it's usually you know it's not my secret it's like recording sessions to be kind of secret and I try not to talk about other people's secrets so I'm not gonna really do that but but I engineered a recording session for I think I think it's fine for me to say this publicly I think I don't think I need to be not I think this is Jill I think this is fine yeah fours ORS mature for fucking sores in the gorge on a unicorn not if you're listening to this you probably don't whose arson jar and Johnny Unicron are but Jenny unicorn is sad personal hero of mine and source and jar is his high volume recording project I think like 1400 songs in the last couple years from Seattle and yeah they came service and adore came because they were gonna play because I did play live at why not fest and yeah so they stopped through Bismarck and did like a day session with me and it was the best and like having all day is like with an artist is awesome I love it I love it is so cool because like just like this feeling of like I'm I'm not on the clock they're not on the clock like we can be flexible it's still like stuff that like it's you know it's still like a high pace high energy kind of thing but like it low-key in the sense of like you know the connection between like time equalling an exact amount of money is so stressful and it's awful for everyone involved and it's I don't it's not fun it's not fun so it's cool and that doesn't exactly exactly happen yeah setting up a bunch of mics and cables and stuff as always in like a timely fashion is always stressful but it's it's not notice terrible no it is terrible when it's a day session it wasn't terrible at all it was awesome it was it was stressful but not never in a terrible way yeah because because they were all just down-to-earth and incredibly friendly and exactly like everything that I know I'm hearing ghosts why does this always happen yeah okay it's fine the ghosts left okay so yeah they were great they were they were they were so awesome to like hang out with and and work with and like the other great thing about like having all day is like like you get to know the the artist and like the people that are like you know friends that are just like hanging out and like helping or whatever and like getting getting to know like you know I've hung out with you know Johnny and Naomi like like a couple times like met them in like 2013 in my not saw them in 2014 when noir and the janitors played in Seattle and like yeah but getting to know them better getting to know like the whole band and everybody that was there including Dan and Jeff like yeah yeah like getting getting to know an artist like throughout the day it like everything runs more smoothly and like by the end of the day it's like I feel I feel like I can you know be like hey you should try this you should try doing doing a thing and you know being able to like you know figuring out where boundaries are and like aren't is always interesting when working with artists and stuff and yeah but after you have like a whole day it's like much more easy to be like yeah hey you should try this and and know that you're not gonna like piss people out you know I don't like pissing people off it's not really my favorite thing so yeah anyway I loved it I mean for it will I feel like that session will forever be like a highlight of me my time recording people yeah yeah um yeah okay so so Jeff and Diane are hopefully in this band called rat Queen so Jeff Jess sings and like plays guitar rat queen is also from Seattle and live yeah Dan played drums and Johnny played played bass which was it's pretty fuckin sweet to lunch and yeah so rat Queen they're like they're their Bandcamp by Oh is there a an upper echelon Nouveau millennium post pop punk band and they like yelling and nesting in garbage which that shit is like that's right up my alley I I am a studio rat Queen yeah I feel like I feel I don't know about a queen I don't feel I feel like a child so I'm like a baby like a baby princess like a tiny studio rat princess ask me Jeff wrote this song called DT DT D dant Dan's full name is Daniel Timothy Derosier and it's like just this song about about Dan and it's the best like everyone every band should have a song about their drummer like just this like self-referential thing is just I don't know it's hilarious especially alive just like watching Jeff Flake sing this well down is like just back there playing drums and Jeff is is praising down it's yeah they many Giants kind of did that like they have a song about their drummer called Marty Beller mask and it's freaking glorious especially alive yeah so what if a band like only wrote songs about like the other members like why am I so nervous what is wrong with me today oh my god I feel like I'm gonna throw the heck I think that would be just awesome like just like imagine this like pop punk trio and they're like all songwriters and the plurals and like they would just all sing songs about the other members like really specific things about like you know yeah so-and-so like the bassist is like like likes to ride their bike to the grocery store and buy a bunch of apricots and then go chill in the park and you know the apricots and spit on the birds like but like not only like nonfiction stuff not fake stuff like real stuff like that like that's real that's a song and they like all their songs are like that I would like to see that bound that's the kind of like silly vague good shit like that's what I want that's what I want in a band you understand that's what I want although Jeff went on like food drink food slash drink runs four legs ORS and everybody hanging out and stuff and they bought me coffee like like a shot in the dark and later bought me pizza and like all that Godhead that shit I love I love that shit that shit makes me feel so fuzzy when someone does a nice thing like that and like I'll never forget that and Jeff I love you thank you okay stuck with Dan Daniel Timothy Derosier of hizmet of his many colored fruit that's his band his many colors Fred yeah both both these vans all three of these bands all these bands they're sick they're fun they're just fun like I like fun I like I like fun yeah okay Dan like early on mentioned that he's getting into like recording and producing and stuff or like interested in like the whole that like that whole thing the whole process and like he was sort of like my like volunteer throughout the day like you know I was running the session myself like I was only only person from the studio and just having like this other person who's specifically just like doing helping do things was just like the best and he was so good at it he just killed it I love that I love watching people just phoned me out and it also made things go so much yeah my that day I was I was not nervous and feeling weird like I am right now and but I was still like stressed out but like having somebody else like help me like that made it oh my gosh so much less stressful and like there's a I don't know he just he was really good at it it's one Sam you know that's sort of like watching to see what you can do like waiting and like an attentive way and like I don't know it's great it's really fun it's really really fun really fun working with was down on it yeah and it would have been way harder what's that without down so thank you Dan love you dan dan dan has a podcast called food babies and it's great me and Emily are doing it and it's pretty cool yeah I think it's I think I think they did a season and it's over I don't know if they're making more food babies but I hope they keep hey Dan Emily you should keep making food babies okay oh also also I'm just kind of like plugging everything that these people are doing because like I had a lot of fun with them and it's fun why am i am fucking mess right now okay Dan Alice has this thing called he did this like last year did this youtube series called it's like a would you rather thing and I think it's just would you rather with Dietrich and down and it's hilarious that's sorry it's really like yeah what yeah whoa whoa they really go for it I'll say that much it's on YouTube check it out maybe like actually laugh and like a lot of things like don't make me like actually laugh because I'm dead inside okay the date freakin the day after I realized that I this is the other reason I'm so pumped about like you know I feel like like I kind of hung out with the bound and like I really hung out with like Jeff and Dan because they were in the control room pretty much like most of the day and like Frick like the day after I realized like oh my god like I know these people like they were both on an episode of Johnny unicorns podcast together like and sort both both sort of like together and separately and and yeah and like just the day after being like oh shit like oh my god Jeff and Dan are like Jeff and Dan from the podcast yeah that blew my frickin mind shit like these people are basically famous to me because they were on Johnny's podcast which and like these are oh my god and like I was hanging out with him all day and like just yeah they it this episode came out in like 2017 that they were on together and they both gave their phone numbers out in the episode and I almost texted both of them in 2017 when the episode came out and I should have that would've been so funny if I had talked to them then and then like met them at the recording session how it went awesome sure done it that's why it's why when you're like I should do this thing you should do it you do it you know text that stranger yeah that's the moral of today's episode is text that stranger okay yeah Johnny here's what I'll say about Johnny it's just like amazing to watch him Johnny johnny is truly to me johnny is truly like a miracle and I can't I can't believe like I just I don't know I love I love what he's doing and it's so it's just so fun to watch him like the sores Lenore has this song called I would rather be recording and it's basically about that it's about how Johnny would rather be recording and like watching him throughout the day like that song I don't know I could just see like see that in him throughout the day like he was just so in his element and like doing the thing that he loves to do and it was just pumped and ready to just like heck yeah like recording yeah it was great I loved I loved seeing that a lot of people don't like recording like even people who are like great musicians um you know great musical artists and all sorts of different varieties like often like think recording sucks you know like because they're stressed about about playing everything exactly right and like they you know a lot of people just don't have a whole lot of experience doing it in you know by themselves their home studio like any kind of them like you know it's great when people make demos because like whether you're making demos or like in your bedroom or whatever like it just it gets you more into like the mindset of liking recording and then when you come into a studio and you actually enjoy recording like yeah I I don't know it's like if you're gonna record like I hope you and can enjoy it like because I think it's so fun and just Johnny like you can you can I could tell like how much like it just seems like Johnny was having a lot of fun doing his thing and so just so fun to watch that yeah yeah also there there deserves or so fast was it was great and all I have to say about it is 28 29 30 30 31 32 Thank You Naomi for that Easter egg and if you want to be jealous Johnny Johnny made like a playlist of all the songs that they were gonna play so like I just kind of randomly found it on Spotify like a couple months ago probably and I've been listening to it like over and over leading up to them you know coming coming in North Dakota and the yeah the playlist still exists and I like you can like attach playlists here like Spotify artist pages so if you want to hear it you should you should go listen that's the only my both of my Spotify artist pages right now I think you see it like right at the top yeah why not fast this recording has to be done soon so what do I want to say about why not fast okay I guess it was it was good it was pretty chill I didn't freak out emotionally too much it was fun to hang out with you know old friends I haven't seen in a long time people from my not people from you know around North Dakota elsewhere hanging out with you know bezoars crew the rat queen crew yeah you know that that was all it was good it was really smoky from wildfires which gave everything kind of like good and extra special creepy vibe I thought which yeah the world the world's the world's ending in the world's I hope not I hope it's not ending I don't want to I don't want to end but it's so sad oh my god don't get me started Jesus fuck it's so weird to like snap back into like performing mode because it's like this certain place that I go and my brain that just is there it's like it's always there it's just like a thing that I can like tap tap into and like flip the switch on and it's so strange because I just I lose it like I guess go to a different universe and I had two different people separately separately like not connected tell me that my performance was intimidating which at first I was like oh because it's aggressive because I'm playing like hardcore punk songs and you know I feel bad about being intimidating and I don't like I'm kind of done with hardcore punk just cuz like it's the dead end and you know I think it's fun to make it and record it but like playing it live like I don't know I end up hurting myself in a whole bunch of different ways battle scars vocal damage you know I just I actually beat myself up because it's like in different ways because because I I do like I go to this other place and so I thought maybe like the intimidating thing was like an aggressive thing which there's also like a certain masculinity to hardcore punk that I don't want any part of you know so it's like hard to balance all of that but that's not what they were saying both of these people separately we're just like saying that I have an intimidating stage presence in the sense that like it's intimidating ly good which is like a very really embarrassing for me to talk about compliments are really hard and then talking about them is really I feel very self aggrandizing now so I'm just throwing that out there okay yeah anyway so yeah very very very nice compliment and one of the people was kind of saying like you know not like I don't know like I when I perform like there's a certain like emotional embodiment of the music that I can't not do and like the trick for me is sort of learning to not overdo it and it to not overplay it to like try to stay within the you know like - I don't know how to like to not go overboard and any in any way you know whereas like a lot of a lot of people and I don't know what this is like if it's if it's just sort of like DIY punk another kind of music or if it's I'm not sure what it like a lot of people you know the audiences do the standing still bands do the standing still the standing still is a dance where you stand still I don't I don't I have no I don't understand that really like that's not I haven't I don't I don't know it's I understand it but I don't understand that's a whole can of worms I just like I can't not completely like throw myself into the emotion of the of the music where like to the point of like it's not it doesn't feel like performance to me when I get to that state it's just like I'm just like living in it and what yeah so one of the people who was complimenting me said like it's it's especially surprising like how yeah they said it's especially surprising how good you are at it because you you barely do it now and like yeah like I haven't done a performance like this for like straight-up legit like years like 20 since 2015 maybe and that I don't try I don't have to try the only thing I in terms of trying is like making sure I don't do that thing where I go overboard cuz then it's really hard for me to like sing or do whatever you know it's not great to go overboard but like I don't have to I don't have to try to like to get to that I only have to try to like kind of take the energy and and hold on to it in a way that so it doesn't go completely out of control it's not something it's not something that I practice so like in that way like it's hard for me to understand why anybody does it doesn't doesn't isn't doing what I'm doing you know like I don't understand why people mostly stand stand still I I don't you know I don't under I just I don't understand that I don't understand like like the compliment like of itself of like you have really good stage presence like doesn't make sense to me because what I don't understand is like why like I feel like I should be like I feel like I feel like it's not what I'm doing isn't anything special you know because it's like I don't have to try um again yes I'm embarrassed about talking all about all this because it's self-aggrandizing and like an arrogant ego trip or whatever but the the thing that it made me realize especially this like surprising how good you are at it because even you despite like not really doing it ever maybe you realize like maybe this is like one of the things like I actually have like a talent for I feel like I'm very like not talented I feel like I have skills I'm I'm very like skills and talent are like very different and like most of the things that I do like I'm if I'm any good at it it's because I'm skilled at it because I've like tried over and over and over again and been really hard on myself to like get better and I'm still not good but I I'm like building skills whereas like having like a stage presence that is quote-unquote intimidating or whatever is like I don't have to try at all which i think is the definition of like a talent like like I'm not I'm not talented at singing like I don't have a talent for for relative pitch let alone perfect pitch I have I don't have a talent for pitch I don't have a talent for all sorts of things with with singing all of it is just like skill and even very good skill not good skill like barely at all like not good skill but like the whole performance thing isn't a skill like I didn't I don't feel like I learn I've been doing it for I've been I've been doing that for like 13 14 years but like not a lot so I don't know it's sorry this is probably just shit but yeah anyway that was an interesting realization I do love performing I hate hardcore punk I hate loud music I'm done with that fuck it you know I just yeah anyway who knows who knows who knows a follow every time I play I'm like if this might be the last time forever I really feel like that was the last hardcore punk show though someone it's probably done I don't know ok this has to end soon so let's see what else do I have to say here the biggest thing in my goddamn fucking life I started taking estrogen on August 3rd 1:23 a.m. it's my first my first titty scale it's happening and it's real it's I'm still at this paranoid state of like oh no maybe my body is just rejecting and I'm pissing it all out and nothing's actually happening but there's some definite i mood swings and like sort of oh all sorts of different things well that's something I'm gonna probably I've been trying to write a little bit about it and I'll talk more about it as that goes on but yeah so today is today I've been on a sturgeon three pills every day for like 27 days almost almost 28 and yeah good stuff thank fucking god I'm finally doing this I'm I made a video like a 13 minute video of me just sitting eating eating my first estrogen it's actually just it dissolves under your tongue but yeah there's a fun was a fun fun fun video yep Frick and you can see that on my patreon it's right at the top it's right at the top patreon.com slash trash party or on we're on fucking YouTube about 193 pills those are we gon soon gotta get some more pills yeah II love it mm-hmm wanna see changes now want it all now getting impatient have been patient for so long impatient now want body to change dysphoria getting much worse because I'm starting to see everything that I've been closing my eyes to for years because sometimes denial is the only way to cope and now that I'm not in denial everything that I see about myself that looks testosterone-fueled I hate it I hate it I wanted to go away now getting impatient ready for changes give me the boobs where are my boobs I'm ready gimme them now now that's how I feel I'm finishing a whole bunch of I am trying to finish finish finish finish finish shit including citizen scientist stuff I'm at this point where I'm like okay that project can be kind of done for a while I just need to wrap up everything that I've recorded and I've recorded waste waste I've recorded so much shit without even realizing how much shit I was recording in I've been organizing my cassette tapes trying to go and be like what do I need to digitize what do I need to get rid of what do I need to blah blah what do I need to finish and trying to just as fast as I can mix and master stuff I recorded it so this if you listened to citizen scientist there have been a few different phases of citizen scientist and one of the long phases is sort of like the this thing of like sort of ambient loops recorded from synthesizers recorded to tape and blah blah blah so these these tape loop this tape loop series of ambient stuff I recorded a hundred and eighteen of them and they're you know they're long ish they're usually like 10 minutes ish you know range some of them I cut down really short so it's like two two minutes to like 20 minutes and yeah so I'm like I'm I mixed all of them as unless I find a problem the mixing on all of them is done the mixing is done I just have to master um I just have to make sure the loudness is fine and then listen to them and make sure there's nothing super wrong going on 118 of them through like tape loop like forward is mastered all of these things are going to be pre released on the patreon and then they're gonna slowly come out over the next year and then there's a bunch of other stuff like within like the next year I'm gonna hit like 200 releases cuz I'm mostly singles on citizen scientists and I'm trying to finish it up like I want it to be like if I could get it done tomorrow I be so stoked I'm hoping I can get it done with like everything like everything with it in like the next week or two and then I got a whole bunch of other stuff to do like guys some stuff I gotta like do remix and remastering releasing on cuz like I just I gotta I gotta and then if I could do anything I would make September into like just complete like lyric-writing month I wanted to take like basically like a month and go through everything that I have and like because I have so many sacks of papers I have so many files they're unorganized now I know how I want to organize and I want to just get it all organized so that I can compile them into songs and then record the songs and release the songs and move on but yeah so I have this whole system now that I'm I have like I have a way that I like to write lyrics now I feel like I've figured out how I want to do it I've struggled for so long figuring out like I need my brains not good at this I need some system to like help do this and I fucking got it and yeah I just want to take like a whole month to just like do nothing but just power the fuck through lyrics and just write a bunch of shit and then after that see where where I can throw the lyrics to connect it with songs and then sing a bunch I want to have a month of writing lyrics and then a month of singing a shit ton a month of mixing and mastering and like finish a bunch of shit in three months I want to do so fucking bad just wanna get it done yeah and that's how I'm feeling about that okay that I think that's everything I think that's everything and I think I think I'm like right at time here cool cool great cool awesome cool cool great and awesome thank you for listening I don't know I don't I don't know why I don't know why you do I don't know why you like me but thank you for thank you for hanging out thanks for hanging out thanks for hanging out with me as I'm living my lonely North Dakota life where I feel like everything I'm doing is meaningless and art is art making art is pointless and try having ambition is just junk and it sucks that's what I feel like so when you're hanging out with me makes me feel better let me know that you're with me because I'm lonely cool okay thank you and yeah go out there go out there and do some shit eat some plants feel good make stuff and love your friends and be be kind to people because being kind is the best and give give people if people that you know that you love like hugs and you like giving hugs give them some hugs hug hug them up go around and hug up all the people cuz we could all die so any time soon and so do your shit go make fun things with your life and I love you I believe in you and your best and I'm hugging you right now back going on I've got that slap back going on going on I got that slap back going on