sometimes idk what I’d do without this song

Feels stupid to feel so hurt by a music scene. To cry because people who you thought would stick up for you actually didn’t have your back. What’s the point? I should have expected less.

Yesterday I started the process of getting prescribed hormones, one of the most momentous days of my life, and today was just so sad. I feel like the scene cares more about having their dumb transphobic punk band play shows than having women like me feel safe.

I just want to feel safe and accepted for once and I don’t think I ever will here. I want to be around other artists who understand me.

And you know what? It’s just sooooo exhausting. I shouldn’t have to spend all this time and energy educating people. But if I don’t who will? And I wish I could make a safe world for the children who are like me. I just want my trans siblings and the trans children to be safe, and to thrive.

I want to help them because no one helped me. If I could only reach back in time and help little Nora.

If I’d had just one trans woman to look up to when I was in my early teens, everything would have been different.

I mean I met one trans woman very briefly when i was in my early twenties, in 2014, and her strength has totally changed my life and my understanding of what is possible. One person can make a huge difference

And for that matter, one shitty transphobic punk band playing one more show can have a huge negative impact. Everything reverberates more than people expect

I met one trans woman in 2014, I don’t think she was out yet, and she totally changed my life. And Laura, when she came out, and her Rolling Stone piece — that was the first time I recognized that maybe there was a future for me

I just wish I could magically make it so that no one ever feels that kind of pain again

I’ve been laying in bed listening to cyndi lauper and crying off and on for an hour. You’re welcome.